our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
