apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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