you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
