What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
