My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
