Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize