I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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