"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm really busy with my period
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