I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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