Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
