Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize