I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
