spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
