one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
