just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
