She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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