Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You ruined the universe
Randomize
