We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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