So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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