I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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