it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
