You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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