It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
