I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
