I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
this just has baby written all over it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
