Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
