My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize