I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
