why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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