i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
