I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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