I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
