The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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