it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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