I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish you could order shots online.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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