I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
