On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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