At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you would pick up someone in the library
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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