Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
