Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize