Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
