sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
