yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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