No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
