She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
