I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
