You're a womanizer and a bitch.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
