what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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