The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
