It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize