i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
