It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just found a bag of teeth...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize