I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
