I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
