Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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