they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
