Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
