Me too!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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