he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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