What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
