Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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