Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize