Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
