Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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