I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
