Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's blow job season.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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