Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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