y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
