erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
