He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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