was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
