windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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