Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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