just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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