You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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