dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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