yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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