Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
