i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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