I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
