Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
